Dr Neha Bhave Salankar is an MD in Psychiatry, who works as a Consultant Psychiatrist in Nagpur. Read what Neha has to say about the excessive usage of Internet by the millennials and the risks associated with it?
During my tenure as an intern in casualty, I had a chilling encounter. A distressed woman who was heavily pregnant came into the casualty, clutching her abdomen at 2 am, sobbing and dishevelled. She kept crying and repeatedly said, My baby, my baby. On questioning, she revealed her drunk husband had thrown her against the wall and then proceeded to kick her abdomen. That was my first close encounter with domestic violence.
How many of us have experienced or witnessed domestic abuse? Nearly everyone. It occurs across all socioeconomic strata, cultures, countries. Victims can range from Rihanna and Karishma Kapoor, to the maid who cleans your house.
United Nation defines domestic violence as, Any act of gender based violence that results in physical, sexual, or mental harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life.
The act doesn’t have to be overtly physical to be tantamount to abuse. It can include a denial of basic rights or simple pleasures. Emotional deprivation can include indifference or a lack of appreciation. Many women suffer from lack of cooperation or support, especially in face of opposition from extended family. Then comes intimidation and harassment, which can range from abusive language, threats of violence to actual physical aggression and even sexual abuse (unfortunately, marital rape is not even recognised by Indian law and hence goes unreported). Sadly, women often shoulder unfair blame and even criticism.
As an outcome of abuse, women suffer from psychological as well as physical consequences. They can suffer from anxiety, depression, insomnia, anger outbursts often over children. They end up with low confidence, insecurity, feelings of shame or even guilt. Physically, they suffer from injuries as well as myriad psychosomatic physical complaints such as headache, body pain etc.
So why do women continue to stay in such toxic relationships Sometimes the spouse (who has abused his/her partner) can be genuinely remorseful, apologising profusely or show best behaviour immediately following abuse. Their false promises (at times) lull the victim into false sense of security. Frequently, wives stay in an abusive marriage for the sake of children. Often females have poor support outside of husbands family and owing to financial dependence and lack of social sanction they remain stuck in a toxic relationship. Another reason is that females are commonly raised in an abusive family, which normalises their own abuse.
The only way out for the victim is to speak out or reach out for help. Confiding in a trustworthy person or your healthcare provider helps. Reporting to the local police or contacting womens rights organisations (like Centre for Social Research and Vimochana) are also pathways to solutions. Remember, never let someone who doesn’t know your value tell you how much you are worth!
The ideas and information expressed are solely by the columnist and not by Nation Next.
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With 7000 luxury cars, gold fitted private jets, Sultan of Brunei has everything money can buy
With a personal wealth of £15 billion (approx rupees one lakh crore) Sultan of Brunei Hassanal Bolkiah (76) has been the king for over 54 years now. Sultans huge fortune is said to increase by £80 (₹7000) per second from just oil assets that he possesses. The Sultan is the second wealthiest monarch in the world after the King of Thailand
Flew his hairdresser via private jet for a £19,000 haircut!
Such has been the Sultans lifestyle that he once flew his barber in his private jet for a single haircut, which cost him a total of £19,000 (approx ₹16.5 lakh) Not just this but hes also known to have his polo shoes flown by his helicopter for a match.
Once court papers in 2012 revealed that he paid £1.26 million (approx. ₹10.92 crore) to his badminton coach, £1.25million (approx. ₹10 crore) for acupuncture, massage and spent £50,000 (approx. ₹ 43 lakh) on guards for his exotic birds.
The Sultan, who spends around £17million (approx. ₹147 crore) on just jewellery as presents for his family members, paid two of his housekeepers £7million (approx. ₹60 crore) each! Once, the Royal Family spent so much at London jewellers Asprey that, in 1995, he decided to buy the entire company at a cost of £320million (approx. ₹2700 crore)!
Multiple marriages, divorces
In 1965, the Sultan married his cousin Raja Isteri Pengiran Anak Hajah Saleha, with whom he has six children, including Crown Prince Al-Muhtadee.
The Sultan remarried, but Raja still remains his wife and the Queen Consort. He married Hajah Mariam in 1982 a year before first wife Queen Saleha gave birth to their sixth child. He met her while she was working as an airhostess on a national airline.
He divorced Hajah (who was the mother of four children) in 2003 and stripped her off her royal titles. He then married TV presenter Azrinaz Mazhar, with whom he had two children before they divorced in 2010.
Micheal Jackson performed for Sultan’s 6000 subjects on his birthday
Father of 12, Sultan celebrated the weddings of his five children for a week by spending millions on each wedding. When Sultans eldest son Crown Prince, married a teenager Sarah Salleh (17), she wore jewel-encrusted Christian Louboutin heels and pure gold anklet. His daughter, Princess Azemah, 38, married her first cousin in week-long wedding on January 25, 2023.
For his oldest daughter’s wedding, Princess Rashidah, American singer Whitney Houston was flown in to sing at the reception and the Sultan paid her £5.5million (approx. ₹47 crore).
Sultans 50th birthday in 1996 was celebrated for over 15 days that cost him over £20 million (₹173 crore). The extravagant celebrations comprised a polo match, gala dinner for 3,000 at the opulent Palace where caviar from the endangered beluga was served.
Apart from this, the guests enjoyed free-flow of champagne. Not just this, the Sultan paid Micheal Jackson £14 million (approx ₹120 crore), for which the pop singer performed at three concerts – one for Sultans 6000 subjects and two for his private guests. The Sultan as a token presented every guest of his a solid gold medal!
1788 rooms, 257 bathrooms, air-conditioned stable for ponies
The Sultan resides at the Instana Nurul Iman Palace, which is the largest Royal residence in the world. The residence that was built over two years costs over £1billion (approx. ₹8600 crore) that includes 1788 rooms and 257 bathrooms.
With gold and diamond all over, the residence has five huge swimming pools, a banquet hall that can accommodate over 5000 guests and a mosque with a capacity of 1500 people. Apart from all this, there’s also a fully air-conditioned stable for Sultans 200 polo ponies (small horses)!
Most expensive private house in UK
The Sultan owns a lavish house in Londons most expensive area Regent Park, St Johns Lodge that consists of three linked properties. The same property in London was bought for £40million in 1994 (estimated to be worth £110 million [approx. ₹953 crore]) by making it the most expensive private house in the United Kingdom!
Known for being generous in gifting huge properties to his family members, the Sultan also owns plush properties on the Gold Coast of Australia, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, to name a few.
The Sultan in 1997 gifted his playboy brother Prince Jefri a mansion worth £45 million (approx. ₹390 crore) in Las Vegas that has 92 rooms, 29 bedrooms, 42 bathrooms, a tennis court, three swimming pools and a huge garage that houses 11 cars.
7000 cars worth £5billion
With almost 7000 cars, the Sultan possess the world’s largest car collection that include over 600 Rolls Royce, 500 Mercedes, 450 Ferraris, 380 Bentleys, over 100 Koenigsegg, 21 Lamborghinis, 11 Aston Martins, 179 Jaguars and 209 BMWs. His £5billion (approx ₹43000 crore) collection also includes a 24-carat gold-plated silver Spur Limo used for Royal weddings.
Private jets decorated in gold
Not just cars, the Sultan is the proud owner of the £233 million (approx. ₹2000 crore) customised Boeing 747, with a living room and bedroom decorated in gold and crystals and washbasins of solid gold.
Apart from this, he also owns a customised Airbus worth £75m (approx. ₹649 crore) and a Boeing 767 worth £136m (approx. ₹1200 crore).
(PS: The figures are an approximate value calculated as per the current market price, which have been sourced from The Sun)