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Psychiatrist Dr Neha Bhave Salankar on domestic abuse, effect on mental health and more

Dr Neha Bhave Salankar, MD in Psychiatry, in her column decodes 'selfie, various levels and how it affects one's self-esteem.
Dr Neha Bhave Salankar

Dr Neha Bhave Salankar is an MD in Psychiatry, who works as a Consultant Psychiatrist in Nagpur. Read what Neha has to say about the excessive usage of Internet by the millennials and the risks associated with it?

During my tenure as an intern in casualty, I had a chilling encounter. A distressed woman who was heavily pregnant came into the casualty, clutching her abdomen at 2 am, sobbing and dishevelled. She kept crying and repeatedly said, My baby, my baby. On questioning, she revealed her drunk husband had thrown her against the wall and then proceeded to kick her abdomen. That was my first close encounter with domestic violence.

How many of us have experienced or witnessed domestic abuse? Nearly everyone. It occurs across all socioeconomic strata, cultures, countries. Victims can range from Rihanna and Karishma Kapoor, to the maid who cleans your house.

United Nation defines domestic violence as, Any act of gender based violence that results in physical, sexual, or mental harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life.

The act doesn’t have to be overtly physical to be tantamount to abuse. It can include a denial of basic rights or simple pleasures. Emotional deprivation can include indifference or a lack of appreciation. Many women suffer from lack of cooperation or support, especially in face of opposition from extended family. Then comes intimidation and harassment, which can range from abusive language, threats of violence to actual physical aggression and even sexual abuse (unfortunately, marital rape is not even recognised by Indian law and hence goes unreported). Sadly, women often shoulder unfair blame and even criticism.

Also read: Nagpur pulmonologist Dr Sameer Arbat tells why govt. banned e-cigarettes

As an outcome of abuse, women suffer from psychological as well as physical consequences. They can suffer from anxiety, depression, insomnia, anger outbursts often over children. They end up with low confidence, insecurity, feelings of shame or even guilt. Physically, they suffer from injuries as well as myriad psychosomatic physical complaints such as headache, body pain etc.

So why do women continue to stay in such toxic relationships Sometimes the spouse (who has abused his/her partner) can be genuinely remorseful, apologising profusely or show best behaviour immediately following abuse. Their false promises (at times) lull the victim into false sense of security. Frequently, wives stay in an abusive marriage for the sake of children. Often females have poor support outside of husbands family and owing to financial dependence and lack of social sanction they remain stuck in a toxic relationship. Another reason is that females are commonly raised in an abusive family, which normalises their own abuse.

The only way out for the victim is to speak out or reach out for help. Confiding in a trustworthy person or your healthcare provider helps. Reporting to the local police or contacting womens rights organisations (like Centre for Social Research and Vimochana) are also pathways to solutions. Remember, never let someone who doesn’t know your value tell you how much you are worth!

The ideas and information expressed are solely by the columnist and not by Nation Next.

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Nagpur News

17-year-old girl gang-raped in car at Nagpur

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Radhika Dhawad | Nagpur

Nagpur Police arrested two men on Wednesday for allegedly gang-raping a 17-year-old girl in a car on Monday…

2 arrested after gang raping 17-yr-old in car | Nagpur

Representational Image

 
Nagpur Police arrested two men on Wednesday for allegedly gang-raping a 17-year-old girl in a car in Saoner (40 kms from Nagpur city) on Monday. The cops, initiated an extensive search immediately after receiving a complaint and arrested the two. 
 
The two accused convinced the teenage girl to travel with them in car by offering her to drop her at her destination. The survivor, who was clueless about the accused’s intentions, helped them by giving directions for the destination.
 
Cops said the two, however, took a detour on the way and took her to an isolated place, parked the car and allegedly gang-raped her. The duo has been booked under the Protection of Children from Sexual Offences (POCSO) Act, among other charges.

Also read: Nagpur: 3 men gang rape woman, stab her to death with axe, again rape her dead body

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Life & Style

With 7000 luxury cars, gold fitted private jets, Sultan of Brunei has everything money can buy

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Radhika Dhawad | Brunei
The Sultan of Brunei (Photo source: EPA)

With a personal wealth of £15 billion (approx rupees one lakh crore) Sultan of Brunei Hassanal Bolkiah (76) has been the king for over 54 years now. Sultans huge fortune is said to increase by £80 (₹7000) per second from just oil assets that he possesses. The Sultan is the second wealthiest monarch in the world after the King of Thailand

 Flew his hairdresser via private jet for a £19,000 haircut!

Such has been the Sultans lifestyle that he once flew his barber in his private jet for a single haircut, which cost him a total of £19,000 (approx ₹16.5 lakh) Not just this but hes also known to have his polo shoes flown by his helicopter for a match.

Once court papers in 2012 revealed that he paid £1.26 million (approx. ₹10.92 crore) to his badminton coach, £1.25million (approx. ₹10 crore) for acupuncture, massage and spent £50,000 (approx. ₹ 43 lakh) on guards for his exotic birds.

The Sultan, who spends around £17million (approx. ₹147 crore) on just jewellery as presents for his family members, paid two of his housekeepers £7million (approx. ₹60 crore) each! Once, the Royal Family spent so much at London jewellers Asprey that, in 1995, he decided to buy the entire company at a cost of £320million (approx. ₹2700 crore)!

Sultan Hassanal Bolkia and second wife Queen Hajah Mariam sit on the throne during an investiture ceremony for the Sultan’s 50th birthday celebrations (Photo source: AFP)

Multiple marriages, divorces

In 1965, the Sultan married his cousin Raja Isteri Pengiran Anak Hajah Saleha, with whom he has six children, including Crown Prince Al-Muhtadee. 

The Sultan remarried, but Raja still remains his wife and the Queen Consort. He married Hajah Mariam in 1982 a year before first wife Queen Saleha gave birth to their sixth child. He met her while she was working as an airhostess on a national airline.

He divorced Hajah (who was the mother of four children) in 2003 and stripped her off her royal titles. He then married TV presenter Azrinaz Mazhar, with whom he had two children before they divorced in 2010.

Micheal Jackson performed for Sultan’s 6000 subjects on his birthday

Father of 12, Sultan celebrated the weddings of his five children for a week by spending millions on each wedding. When Sultans eldest son Crown Prince, married a teenager Sarah Salleh (17), she wore jewel-encrusted Christian Louboutin heels and pure gold anklet. His daughter, Princess Azemah, 38, married her first cousin in week-long wedding on January 25, 2023. 

For his oldest daughter’s wedding, Princess Rashidah, American singer Whitney Houston was flown in to sing at the reception and the Sultan paid her £5.5million (approx. ₹47 crore).

Sultans 50th birthday in 1996 was celebrated for over 15 days that cost him over £20 million (₹173 crore). The extravagant celebrations comprised a polo match, gala dinner for 3,000 at the opulent Palace where caviar from the endangered beluga was served.

Apart from this, the guests enjoyed free-flow of champagne. Not just this, the Sultan paid Micheal Jackson £14 million (approx ₹120 crore), for which the pop singer performed at three concerts – one for Sultans 6000 subjects and two for his private guests. The Sultan as a token presented every guest of his a solid gold medal!

Sultan’s Palace with 1788 rooms 

1788 rooms, 257 bathrooms, air-conditioned stable for ponies

The Sultan resides at the Instana Nurul Iman Palace, which is the largest Royal residence in the world. The residence that was built over two years costs over £1billion (approx. ₹8600 crore) that includes 1788 rooms and 257 bathrooms.

One of the five pools inside the Brunei Palace (Photo source: The Sun)

Inside Brunei Palace (Photo source: The Sun)

With gold and diamond all over, the residence has five huge swimming pools, a banquet hall that can accommodate over 5000 guests and a mosque with a capacity of 1500 people. Apart from all this, there’s also a fully air-conditioned stable for Sultans 200 polo ponies (small horses)!

Inside Sultan’s Palace

Most expensive private house in UK

The Sultan owns a lavish house in Londons most expensive area Regent Park, St Johns Lodge that consists of three linked properties. The same property in London was bought for £40million in 1994 (estimated to be worth £110 million [approx. ₹953 crore]) by making it the most expensive private house in the United Kingdom!

St John’s House in Regent’s Park is the most expensive private house in the UK (Photo source: Alamy)

Known for being generous in gifting huge properties to his family members, the Sultan also owns plush properties on the Gold Coast of Australia, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, to name a few.

The Sultan in 1997 gifted his playboy brother Prince Jefri a mansion worth £45 million (approx. ₹390 crore) in Las Vegas that has 92 rooms, 29 bedrooms, 42 bathrooms, a tennis court, three swimming pools and a huge garage that houses 11 cars.

 7000 cars worth £5billion

With almost 7000 cars, the Sultan possess the world’s largest car collection that include over 600 Rolls Royce, 500 Mercedes, 450 Ferraris, 380 Bentleys, over 100 Koenigsegg, 21 Lamborghinis, 11 Aston Martins, 179 Jaguars and 209 BMWs. His £5billion (approx ₹43000 crore) collection also includes a 24-carat gold-plated silver Spur Limo used for Royal weddings.

Sultan’s fleet of cars
The Prince with a custom-built six door Rolls in 1984 (Photo source: Rex Features)

The custom-built Rolls Royce is gold-plated and is used for Royal weddings (Photo source: Rex Features)

Private jets decorated in gold

Not just cars, the Sultan is the proud owner of the £233 million (approx. ₹2000 crore) customised Boeing 747, with a living room and bedroom decorated in gold and crystals and washbasins of solid gold.

Inside Sultan’s private jet

Inside Sultan’s private jet

Apart from this, he also owns a customised Airbus worth £75m (approx. ₹649 crore) and a Boeing 767 worth £136m (approx. ₹1200 crore).

Sultan’s private jet

(PS: The figures are an approximate value calculated as per the current market price, which have been sourced from The Sun)

Also read: Salim Khan was one of those few friends who encouraged me to become a screenwriter: Javed Akhtar

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Nagpur News

Nagpur citizens walk to celebrate city’s heritage ahead of Republic Day | In Pictures

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Avani Arya | Nagpur
On the account of arriving Republic Day festival, a heritage dialogue was held on January 22, 2023. The aim was to celebrate the buildings that are living witnesses of the spirit of power centres belonging to today’s Indian democracy and the era of 1903 when Nagpur was the capital of the Central Provinces.
 
The walk included a brief narrative from 1861, where after the mutiny, the detached position of Nagpur District and territories of Saugor and Nerbudda led to the formation of a new province termed “Central Province.”
 
The walk covered the architecture of the structures that were the centre of British rule in the central provinces. Various public buildings of that era, such as the old secretariat, the old High Court building, and the General Post Office, which are eminent examples of British colonial architecture, were covered. Materials like sandstone, basalt, and brick masonry are used to craft the elements of the building’s architecture.
 
During the walk, the stickers designed by team Sakha were distributed to participants as a souvenir, which was one of the key attractions for the participants and a reason for enthusiasm too.
 
The walk was followed by snacks and tea, over which dialogues on improving the condition of heritage structures were held. The citizens sharing their independent opinions was the true celebration of Indian democracy.
 
The walk was organised under the leadership of Ar Sandeep Pathe by team Sakha, which includes Ar Mayuri Deodhar, Ar Amruta Gangakhedkar, Ar Renuka Marotkar, Ar Yashwardhan Pincha, Ar Asmita Korpenwar, Ms Anjali Karpate, Ms Sakshi Mishra, Ms Shruti Beohar and Ms Vrushal Gurbaxani
 
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